You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
This is the story of one woman who was dating 100 men in an effort to find Mr Right but then she found him

Man number 11 and me have now past our one-year anniversary. It was a month ago. I’ve just read through this blog and I have really enjoyed myself since I started it. Things have changed for sure. I’ve had contact with a couple of men that I dated – a text and an email here and there. I recently had a few emails from Man number 9.

He met someone and moved in with her soon after our date. I remember really liking him and was a bit upset when it turned out he didn’t like me as much. But now he’s been emailing me asking for help and advice because his relationship has gone wrong.

It turns out he’s gone off her. The worst thing about it is that she’s pregnant and he’s asked her to move out. In his email he said: “I don’t want to do her anymore.”

I was quite sympathetic with him at first but then after he went into the details I could see that he was just a very damaged and selfish person and I stopped contacting him. I did tell him also that I thought what he’d done was despicable and said I’m glad I didn’t get involved with him.

I can’t help thinking she’ll be absolutely devastated. I feel very sorry for her and don’t want to think about how alone and lost she must feel. From what he said it looks like he didn’t give her any idea that he was having negative feelings and so must have dropped the “I don’t love you,” thing on her like a nuclear bomb.

It just shows you that you should try not to judge when things go wrong in your life because if I’d known the outcome of this I would have been very pleased that it didn’t work out instead of being upset.

Anyway, I’m very happy to be with the lovely Man Number 11 and wouldn’t want any of the frogs I previously dated or any of the future frogs that I would have dated if we hadn’t been in the same place at the same time just over a year ago.

You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
This is the story of one woman who was dating 100 men in an effort to find Mr Right but then she found him

Me and Man number 11 are buying a house together. It's been 10 months now since we met and we've had long enough to get to know each other and to make the decision that we want to stay together. He was a bit slower than me at deciding and wouldn't talk about the future for quite a long time - but how could he resist in the end?! :-)

He asked me a few weeks ago. I'm very happy. I've definitely taken the female role in the relationship as he's a man's man and he can never be coerced or pushed into things. I know I have to just leave him to make his own mind up about things - especially things like this.

I'm a bit bolshy and independent and I never thought I'd hear myself say this but I like the feeling of being looked after by him. Don't get me wrong, I'm a feminist and I have a very feminist job and I pay my way and I make joint decisions that we make in the relationship but I'm really happy that he's so masculine and that he takes control of things, takes care of me and protects me when I want to be protected.

All the other men I've had relationships with have been very helpless and a bit useless in lots of ways and I've struggled with this. They were ok at first, in the 'let's pretend I'm what you want me to be' (the first three months) but they slowly revealed their true 'little boy' selves over time and by then it was too late. It was hard to extract myself.

Man number 11 has remained consistent. Even his bad points were evident very quickly and he is upfront and straightforward all the time. His good points far outweigh his bad ones.

I'm sure he feels the same way about me. :-)

Anyway, we're buying a house together and becoming a proper family.

I can't believe how far I've come since I started this blog - on a mission to find Mr Right. It's only just over a year ago (around 16 months) and it really didn't take as long as I thought.

If you want something, the best thing you can do is decide exactly what that is and then go for it. This blog proves it.

OHF x

You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
This is the story of one woman who was dating 100 men in an effort to find Mr Right but then she found him

I’ve been with Man number 11 for eight months now and we have our ups and downs like anyone else and he can be extraordinarily grumpy and we have ‘issues’ that we constantly work on – but I’m totally in love. My eyes have transformed into filtered camera lenses when I look at him and a normal guy becomes Cary Grant or George Clooney. I know this is good old oxytocin and that I’m deluded but I don’t want it to be any other way. I love him in the old fashioned way that I thought was fantasy or just something that people made up for films and stories and songs.

The problem is that wherever I turn there is negativity about this and apparently, according to self-help books and general advice, I’m a ‘disappearing woman’ because my relationship is the most important thing in my life and I want to be with him when I can.

One of my friends last night said: “When I met you, you were an independent woman and I thought if you found a relationship, you’d have it as a sort of ‘bolt-on’ to the rest of your life but what’s happened is that you have the rest of your life as a bolt-on to your relationship.”

I found myself agreeing and almost apologising and putting myself down a bit because it’s not the first time it’s been pointed out and everywhere I look I’m being ‘told’ that what I feel is wrong.

I have two or sometimes three precious nights with him at weekends because he works away most weeks, apart from occasionally when I might see him for one night in the week. And I do shift things about to make time for him, simply because when he’s there it’s the most exciting thing – like I felt on Christmas night when I was 10 years old – and anyone else in my position would do EXACTLY the same.

I’ve been really worried about this and stressed and thinking I have to stop feeling this way and stop making him so important and build up the rest of my life. I’ve really been upset and making an effort to pull away from him. Then this morning it struck me that my life is ok – better than ok. In all other areas, I am exactly where I should be and where I would have been if I hadn’t met him.

I was listening to the radio when I realised. Every song they played had lyrics about love and how overwhelming it is. And I thought: “Hang on a minute…! Why am I letting myself get stressed out by something that is totally natural but which it has become fashionable to slate and rebel against?”

Well, I have to tell you, everything else DOES mean less than he does but that doesn’t mean that my feelings about the rest of my life have changed and that all of it has suddenly shrunk in comparison, it means that I just found something much bigger than the rest of my life!

All I feel is the same feeling that all the songs and stories and films are about. The same feeling that the poets wrote about and you and the ‘experts’ can boil it down to biology and hormonal trickery as much as you like in your big cauldron of cynical pop psychology and so-called science but get the feeling yourself and you will also want to drown in it.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.

Love IS massive and it does explode into your life and change things – it changes you! There’s nothing wrong with the way that I feel and when I think sensibly about it and look at my life I can see that it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me and I really don’t want to change it.

You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
This is the story of one woman dating 100 men in an effort to find Mr Right

It’s five months tomorrow since I first dated Number 11. We’ve had our ups and downs since the last time I posted, but nothing out of the ordinary – a few rows and some insecurities and the usual adjustments to each other’s habits and personalities (he’s a right grumpy git).

It’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in by far. We have more in common than I imagined was possible (being grumpy and git-like for a start) and for the first time he comes first! I always used to worry about what my friends/family thought of my men and I’d often look at them through the eyes of others (often imagining faults that weren’t even there and seing some that were!). This time it’s just me and him and that’s it. In past relationships I’ve realised what I’m doing wasn’t very nice and made a big effort to put my boyfriend first. Sometimes it was hard as I was so easily influenced by other people and I would cringe at things boyfriends said or did. It was like I felt responsible for them, as if they were a part of me or a reflection of me that I had no control over. Now I realise that it might not have been about me being easily influenced but more about me being with the wrong men. This time I don’t even have to make an effort to put him first – he just is.

What anyone else thinks is totally irrelevant and I don’t even think about it. I look at him through my own eyes. And he makes me go weak at the knees.

We have our separate lives and our separate things still at the moment (which is only healthy after just five months) and we haven’t discussed the future at all, but we feel very close even when we’re not together and I really like that feeling.

It’s funny but Fat Scouser called me last week and asked me out again after all this time. Imagine that?! Remember how much I liked him? (Remember when he felt the tops of my Magic Knickers!? Eeek! *Blush*). I agreed to go out as friends but told him I’m happily with someone now. I don’t know if we’ll go out but I’ll post if we do.

I’m looking forward to Christmas this year – which sort of begins tomorrow for me (the parties start!). This year on Christmas day it’s just me and him. I can’t wait. Anyone who knows me will know how much I usually hate Christmas – not this year!

Anyway I’ll stop being all smug and loved up and wish you all a very VERY happy Christmas and a great New Year.

I hope you all get what you’re looking for.