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Moss or the monkey?

by Onehundredfrogs @ 2007-03-20 - 14:10:08

You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
This is the story of one woman dating 100 men in an effort to find Mr Right

I've had a look at some other dating blogs and I'm a bit surprised. Most of the others are about how weight has to be lost, hair has to be done, and improvements have to be made so that the said datee will think well of date. I have to admit, it didn't occur to me to worry about whether these 100 men will like me. My only thought has been will I like them?

I'm no supermodel, but I don't want to change anything about myself to suit anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I love make-up and having my hair done and wearing nice clothes and I know that these are all about image and what other people think - but I think if I began to get anxious and neurotic about it instead of enjoying my 'look' as a sort of material possession, I'd come across as ugly even if I looked like Kate Moss!

This isn't to say I'm not sympathetic with those women who are anxious about this sort of thing - it's often hard to avoid because it's drummed into our heads that all we are is what we look like. But I choose to see this as oppression and I'll fight it until the day I die!

Being self-assured will make you attractive even if you look like a monkey. Being neurotic and insecure will make you unattractive even if you ARE Kate Moss.

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Mind you, that's easy for me to say as the attraction hasn't switched round to 'I like him but he doesn't like me' yet, which might change my confident outlook and I'll be a gibbering wreck. But you have to ask yourself why it hasn't switched round, and as I do look more like the monkey than Kate, it's probably about attitude rather than weight/hair/clothes/beauty.

My advice to any woman on any decent dating spree would be to stop looking back in at yourself through your date's eyes and look outwards at him. Do you like him? That's what matters - eveything else is out of your control.

I've got myself into a bit of a spot with my dates. I haven't got date number 6 lined up yet for this week, but I'm going out with date number 4 again (fourth time) on Wedensday, because I do get on well with him. Date number 5 was 'playing it cool' and hadn't cooled off as I'd imagined. Now he wants to take me out again on Friday - but I don't want to go. We've got nothing in common. I'm going to have to write one of those 'Dear John' letters and I'm dreading it. I hate doing that.

I'm off to trawl Tinternet for date No 6.


 
 

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annieeanniee [Member]
2007-03-20 @ 14:29

Hi there

I just found your blog by accident and found it fabulous! I hope that you have fun on your travels and perhaps find someone great.

I am 41yrs with a fifteen year old and have kind of given up on actually looking for someone although it would be nice if they turned up and swept me off my feet! Oh yeah so likely!

In my experience there are a lot of men out there who are EFW (emotional fuck wits!) but it isn't easy to spot until you're in there!

I'll stick to my on-off long term / long distance since the sod moved casual thing with my own commitment phobe EFW - better the devil you know until I do get swept off my feet by Prince Charming! Damn must let go off that dream!!

Sorry - sound cynical - really wish you luck and I'll look forward to installments. One of my friends has just met Mr Perfect on-line so there is hope for us all apparently!

Take care,

Annie

OnehundredfrogsOnehundredfrogs [Member]
2007-03-20 @ 14:33

Thanks Annie,
I think you should give up the EFW and make a project of finding a new one. It's fun and exciting and improves your social life. Just try going for five or six first of all and then build up your date portfolio. You'll find someone decent in the end. There are loads of non-EFWs out there waiting to meet YOU!

Good luck.
OHF x

annieeanniee [Member]
2007-03-21 @ 09:39

Thanks OHF, am toying with the idea of such a project; just need to get the cancer thing sorted first and then with the advent of the summer and you as inspiration perhaps I'll get out there!!!

Take care and have fun!

Annie x

OnehundredfrogsOnehundredfrogs [Member]
2007-03-21 @ 14:38

Hi Annie,
I've just read your blog. You're handling it really well - I'm in awe at your strength. I think you'd have no problem with a piffling issue like men after climbing the mountain you've climbed.

OHF x

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