One of the things I've noticed about dating is the curious way that attraction blanaces out - or rather doesn't balance out. If you go out with someone, you either really like them and they don't like you or they really like you and you don't like them. Either way, you have a problem.

I have to admit that tonight's date is my fourth in this 100 men saga (fifth if you count the one that didn't turn up!) - I only had the idea to do this four dates in. So far, the balance has tipped 'my way' and they've liked me. And it's not that I haven't liked any of them exactly - it's just that they were somehow wrong for me. Am I being too fussy? Do I expect too much?

I don't know. I realise that women have been fed this vision of a Jane Austen Hero that doesn't exist and I might be on a search for a fictional character, but I don't think so - although there are some qualities that I really do think are important in a man. Equally, I'm sure men are looking for their own values wrapped in the shape of their ideal woman (and for a man, the shape is likely to be as important as the values - for some men even more so!).

OK, here's a brief history of the last four (five?) dates:

Date 0: I met him at a Valentines ball. He was tall and good looking. I kind of threw myself at him because I'd had near to a whole bottle of red wine and my judgement was a bit skewed. I'm normally much more of a lady than that! Anyway, he was popular and women kept coming up to him but he really impressed me by dealing with them like a gentleman and being polite, but each time, he would reach back and touch my hand to let me know that he was with me.

Unfortunately that's as far as his manners went because he asked me if he could take me out to dinner during the week, phoned me three times on the day saying he had a terrible hangover but that he would pick me up at 7pm - and then he didn't turn up.

Date 1: I met on the Inetrnet in an international general chat site. We were talking about some political issue or other and he asked me where I lived. It turned out that we live within 10 minutes walk of each other - which is an amazing coincidence and I did start to wonder about fate. We exchanged photos and arranged to meet for Sunday lunch.

When we met I realised that he'd sent me a photo of himself that was at least 15 years old - he admitted he had. I decided to ignore this, but he was very negative and seemed very unhappy with is life. Oher than that I really liked him and we are going out again, but I've made it clear that I don't want to be with him in 'that way'.

Date 2: Was someone I knew at school who asked me out in the pub one night. To cut a long story short, he didn'task me one question and didn't really respond to anything I said. I felt compelled to question him to keep the conversation going and I felt like I was Jeremy Paxman or someone. It was very boring and very difficult. Shame - as physically I was very attracted to him.

Date 3: Lovely boy. We got on so well that the whole evening flew by. I went out with him twice more. He let me arrange everything - gave me the power, though. I had to decide where we were going and he let me go to the bar first and when we went to the cinema, he hung back and let me pay for the tickets. Now, I really am the last person to take the piss and I'm certainly no gold digger but I'm a woman! I might be a feminist but to me that means equality and a woman's role being as important as a man's, not a woman becoming a man. It didn't seem very grown up. I'd have made sure, if he had bought the tickets that I'd have got the drinks and food and bought him something else - but I don't want to take the masculine role. Some women might - I don't. I think he was too careful with money.

Date 5: That's tonight. Watch this space.

I realise that this is going to be filtered through my brain and it might seem one sided - as these men aren't able to tell their side of the story. I don't know everything. I'm far from perfect and I might be doing loads of things wrong on these dates. But all I can do here is a sort of 'dating critique' - as if I'm a film critic or something but for dates.

So far, though, as I've said, the balance of attraction has tipped in my favour apart from the one that didn't turn up. The difficulty I've had is rejecting people. I don't like to damage people's egos (and that's all it can be after such a short time - I mean, I'm hardly breaking hearts). I find it very difficult. If anyone's got any tips?

I might fall for this guy tonight, he might hate me - and justice will be done.